Chapter Three - Choose your behaviors.. I hope you dance!

This past spring I used my vacation days to take the Homeland Security Exercise and Evaluation Program (HSEEP) . I knew it would look good on my resume, and this was important to me because I was applying for a position at the Vermont Office of Emergency Management as a Planner. I also knew it would keep me more active in the field and was a way to earn extra money.

Four people were chosen for interviews, including me. The Director complimented me after the interview saying it was a very good interview. I knew of one other candidate and was more qualified than she. I heard one applicant dropped out of the running. I do not know anything about the fourth person.

After a few weeks I followed up and received a Dear Jane e-mail, and then the Dear Jane letter. This letter mentioned that the applicant chosen possessed "qualifications more suited to the position. " A former coworker and another person I worked with from time to time (that both work there, and who didn't even know I applied for the position until they saw me show up for the interview) told me the Director hired the female candidate with less experience, because she was the daughter of a friend.

Up until that point I presumed the Director possessed integrity and was looking for the best candidate for the position. From all the information provided to me since that point in time, I can no longer believe that to be true.

I was indeed disappointed. I was saddened and disheartened. I felt a bit betrayed. I was not getting my need for Power fulfilled, my Freedom was being squashed, my need for Love was not met and I certainly was not feeling like my need for Fun was fulfilled.

I did have three choices:
Make a bad situation worse (INEFFECTIVE),
do something to move me forward (BAND-AID),
or get what I need without overriding anyone else (EFFECTIVE).

What I was proud of was that I said to the person who told me the information, that it was best I knew this information about the Director now as I would have a very hard time working for a person that spoke with a "forked tongue."

In doing this, I gained my Freedom back because I knew I had a choice and what that choice would be, having to make the decision to apply over again. I also acknowledged my skill level as being superior to the person that was hired and felt as though someone, somewhere is going to notice my skills while recognizing this might not be the best timing.

I received Love from the two comrades who cared. We even experienced a little Fun finding other things to laugh about.

Now some of this was a band-aid approach because it helped for the moment and I felt better. It hasn't help me get a job in the emergency management field as yet, which is the ultimate goal. I feel good because I didn't go and spout off or go into a crying jag or say I am never going to apply for a job there again. I didn't start to spread rumors and nasty things about this Director. I figure, she'll have to live with that decision. I will have to assume that for her, the qualification of "daughter of a friend" suits the position and she felt like she was doing the right thing.

I am also a firm believer of the statement, "When one door closes another door opens."

My effective behaviors are right on target. I know each semester I am one step closer to attaining my degree as this seems to be the big thing holding me back from advancement. So, I continue on, taking the action of learning, studying, and applying the knowledge gained to my work.

I feel good.


Part II
The Barometer

I am a number 8.5- I am seldom physically ill and do meditate.
I would need to start a regular exercise program to make it to a 10.