In my Needs Circle, I find my three significant family members, one of my charities and spiritual practices, and something that gets my creative juices flowing (doing crafts and being a Team Mom):
Love
RAHEF
Crafts
Team Mom
RAHEF
Crafts
Team Mom
RAHEF
Crafts
Team Mom
RAHEF
Crafts
Team Mom
Maintenance
Looking over my needs circle I see that I did not place my oldest son in the fun quadrant. I really took this to heart because I have been disappointed in our relationship over the last couple years. What bothered me was to know that if he is not meeting my need, then I am not meeting his. Knowing that, I see I have the power of changing the situation. There has been a strain in our relationship over the last few years. My first action is to connect with him and ask him, about what things he likes to do for fun and see if I am able to somehow join in, instigate or learn about those things he thinks are fun. As a kid we did fun things but now that he is twenty-four we can't seem to find things in common.
My youngest son has just reached the "stereotypical behaviors of a teenager” stage, so I believe he still meets and falls under the power quadrant but maintenance to keep the lines open are needed - especially in the respect opinion description are in order. My action is to start soliciting his opinions more and start offering my opinions less.
My husband and I are in a place lately where he and I rarely see each other to connect. Two ships passing in the night, connecting with each other by e-mail or phone to make sure the kids are okay, the bills are paid, there are groceries in the cabinet and the birthdays and holidays are covered. Sad....so sad. I think I need to spice up the fun quadrant with us a little bit. Specifically the make discoveries together piece. I brought this up with my husband tonight. It took him some time to think about it too, because he works two jobs, I work a job and go to school and we both are head honchos for two separate charities we belong to. He said he’d like to see the movie, “An American Carol.” So, I guess we can make that discovery together as my last action. The fact that he is helping me run a conference this weekend doesn't really count. Sometimes you've got to start small.
Looking over my needs circle I see that I did not place my oldest son in the fun quadrant. I really took this to heart because I have been disappointed in our relationship over the last couple years. What bothered me was to know that if he is not meeting my need, then I am not meeting his. Knowing that, I see I have the power of changing the situation. There has been a strain in our relationship over the last few years. My first action is to connect with him and ask him, about what things he likes to do for fun and see if I am able to somehow join in, instigate or learn about those things he thinks are fun. As a kid we did fun things but now that he is twenty-four we can't seem to find things in common.
My youngest son has just reached the "stereotypical behaviors of a teenager” stage, so I believe he still meets and falls under the power quadrant but maintenance to keep the lines open are needed - especially in the respect opinion description are in order. My action is to start soliciting his opinions more and start offering my opinions less.
My husband and I are in a place lately where he and I rarely see each other to connect. Two ships passing in the night, connecting with each other by e-mail or phone to make sure the kids are okay, the bills are paid, there are groceries in the cabinet and the birthdays and holidays are covered. Sad....so sad. I think I need to spice up the fun quadrant with us a little bit. Specifically the make discoveries together piece. I brought this up with my husband tonight. It took him some time to think about it too, because he works two jobs, I work a job and go to school and we both are head honchos for two separate charities we belong to. He said he’d like to see the movie, “An American Carol.” So, I guess we can make that discovery together as my last action. The fact that he is helping me run a conference this weekend doesn't really count. Sometimes you've got to start small.
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