I got What I wanted....and I wasn't playing fish

I got what I wanted when…

1. A senior manger came to my work area and sat down in my spare chair. In the course of conversation, he confided in me that he and another even more senior manger, (recently retired) and he didn't see eye to eye and a couple more revealing pieces of information. (I knew I got what I wanted when I felt trusted by this person and realized that I had met my need for love and power.
2. I read on our central office shared e-mail account that senior staff appreciated the presentation and award ceremony that I arranged and presided over for a volunteer who had reached 1000 hours of service. (I felt a rush of relief and appreciation when I read the e-mail. I realized I received what I wanted as this met my need for power.)
3. A manager rode his bike to work. He forgot his lock so he brought the bike up into our office space. When he was at lunch, a couple of us found materials to transform his bike into something you would see in a parade – streamers and all. The bike owner and the rest of the staff thought it was so funny. This lifted our spirits all afternoon every time we caught eye of it. (The laughter and lightheartedness touched me inside and helped be know I met my need for fun and love.)

I did not get what I wanted when…

1. A Program Service Clerk sometimes forwards me jokes or pictures by office e-mail that she thinks I might enjoy. I opened an e-mail from this person and read a negative comment about an employee that works in a different division. (I knew it wasn't what I wanted when I felt deep annoyance and wanted to reprimand this clerk, but couldn't. I didn't meet my need for freedom, love, or fun)
2. A temporary supervisor was deeply annoyed with me when after denying me paid time off to take a state sponsored course, I asked for vacation time instead. She told me very publicly that I would never change and that I should start looking for another job. (I felt shock, ruffled pride, disbelief, and hurt. I now understand that my need for power, and freedom was affected.)
3. A new employee felt "less than" any time work was brought back to her when she made errors. She took these learning experiences personally instead of looking at the facts and, making notes and avoiding future errors. She didn't want to use my knowledge and skills to aid her in learning her new job. She continually questioned my methods and procedures by querying others outside our Division to try to catch me "wrong." I walked into rooms where she and other members of the Administrative Support Group were talking. I had worked with the others for many years, and on more than one occasion, they all stopped talking and looked guilty when I entered the room. I found out, she was systematically badmouthing me to others and ruining my reputation while trying to establish herself into the group. (I felt betrayed, left out, and misunderstood. I realized my need for love, power and fun with this group of people had been damaged.)