Chapter 7
Imagination
Target Practice
I will spend twenty minutes to one half hour each day connecting with my soul while doing some form of exercise. I will start this activity immediately.
What I will do tomorrow is to take a walk.

My problem for this Chapter is my weight.
The question is, Have I balanced my behaviors in relationship to being overweight? Clearly not.

What behaviors am I using now to solve the problem?
AVOIDANCE.
I also use excuses such as: I am too busy to exercise or I am too tired to exercise.

Here are the solutions I came up with in my brainstorming:
Park further away
Say and follow through on "Unless I walk, I can't eat.
Visit individual office suites instead of sending e-mails to people whenever possible.
Get life cycle fixed and start using it.
Combine connecting with my spouse time with a walk.
Do yard work and get those leaves picked up
Get a dog or walk a dog
Join a dance class
Have a contest lifting weights with my son
Go for a hike
Find scenic bike paths and go for a ride
research kid friendly hikes
walk to meetings or library
Figure out why/how I got there to begin with to avoid those situations

Of these brainstorming ideas, which ones would cover all the categories of fun, love, freedom and power?
Both figuring out the why/how and I deciding on "connecting with spouse and walking" along with "no food" until that has been done.

How would the person I want to be handle this situation?
First off, it wouldn't be an odious task - it would have to be fun, so I would want to do it again. Secondly, it would involve some family time because I have so little of it lately. Then it wouldn't have to be so time consuming that I couldn't do it. The picture of Snow White singing "With a smile and a song...." comes to mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQZ6zzLpoNQ
The person I admire wants to be more fit and in the process lose weight.

The action I will take to handle the situation the way I want is to ask my husband and /or my son if they would meet me at the track on our way home from work to walk.

It wasn't so hard, I did that this morning and got an OKAY!

Chapter 6 Relationships

This Chapter is timely.

I had my oldest son e-mail me yesterday afternoon to tell me his room mate is moving back in with his mother at the end of November and this means he is going to have to leave NYC. As far as I know other than playing poker on line, which seems to support him, he has no jobs on the horizon so he is counting on moving back home. All I had was the e-mail and no chance to talk. He hasn't been available by phone.

"The big picture in your head of what your son should be doing is different from what he in fact is doing." (page 151) comes to mind this week.

The phrases I have heard from his mouth to me in the past can be found on page 153 - "you're wrong, That is stupid."

Clearly I have not been getting what I want. I had chalked it up to his age and frustration and immaturity in not getting what he wanted, and in some cases, he was right - what I had not been doing was dumb. i know he is actually wanting better for me.

Having to evaluate if a move back home is going to work in a way I (we) need it to work is what I have been thinking about. If he were to move home, what I want is something different than the last time this happened. I want a participatory family member who is happy, who is thriving, who helps out around the house without prompting, cleans up after himself, who is a contributor toward the good of the whole family as in doing chores, preparing and/or attending family meals, buying food, being with us and who shares his life with the rest of us.

Before he moved out, I had a sullen, withdrawn hermit who stayed up in his room, didn't see and couldn't find that we have things in common, and when he did speak it was to criticize. He didn't pick up after himself, he didn't share his life and he was not happy and thriving. None of us were happy with the arrangement.

My picture includes children who are responsible, give back to society, who get an education or who hold down a job that supports themselves.

We had a discussion tonight where I actually asked him what his "picture" looked like if he moved home. I was pleased that I used the word picture from our book. It is a great tool. I shared with him what my "picture" looks like and we managed to cover some of these topics. We've agreed that he will be a participatory family member and that he will be helping around the house. He thought that was a reasonable request.

Every time I have asked what he wants to do with his life, I hear, "I don't know." As we tackled the job issue he said he has some irons in the fire but didn't want to or couldn't be specific at this time. I told him I needed some specifics and he said he would consider them some more and e-mail them to me. I explained that his father and I could be his eyes and ears in looking for whatever his picture was (job?) until he got home in order to give him some leads

This brought up the fact that he is still holding out on trying to stay in NY, so essentially, we are the backup plan.

As a parent, I am there when my children need me but as an individual, up until this point, I have allowed his immaturity to go further than I would with anyone else because I see the gem beneath and because I know we all get in ruts and because I love him. My problem is in knowing when his need of a place to stay to regroup becomes "lets use Mom and Dad", and in his knowing when his frustration with life's circumstances can be foisted upon his family or not.It is in knowing how love is best shared and felt in these circumstances.

So my "problem" person is my oldest son. (I miss him like crazy. More recently, he - his essence - has been so far away that I can't seem to connect; even in the same room sometimes) Maybe I am only missing the him I see or want and not the real him. Maybe I don't want to see the him he has become.

I want his respect and consideration but I am not going to sell my soul for it.

So, we now have a starting point to build from and more of what each of us want in our pictures.

II
CHANGING YOURSELF IS HARD WORK. CHANGING ANOTHER PERSON IS IMPOSSIBLE.
In the fill in the blank I would write, "If only he would go to school or get a paying job (ideally with health and dental insurance), THEN I would be happier. Our conversation moved us forward on a couple of my points - like health insurance. He agreed he would apply for the state insurance program when he got home. I know it will make me happier to know he has health insurance and he is starting to believe that too. Two different pictures no longer.

We are making progress.

Part III
MAKE SOMEONE'S DAY
This week I have been noticing what people wear. Today, passing a stranger I remarked on the beautiful blue blouse she wore, and told her it brought out her eyes. She was a bit shocked but I could see her step got a bit more peppy as she walked away.

My son did the dishes without me having to say anything. I bragged about him to my husband within his hearing range and I could see him smile.

Today was bosses day. I got a rose made of chocolate and had my boss give it to his (our) boss. He was thrilled to be able to do it and she was thrilled that she received it.

Balance and Variety are the spice of Life

The people and Activities I want to cut down on unfortunately are in my job that pays the bills.
I have discovered I am more about projects than rote and cyclical activities. Yet in a time of a slowing economy, when we've lost so many people, it is the "same ol, same ol" activities that must be done instead of the creative, proactive ones that I so enjoy. The projects still need to be done but when I am working my position and major pieces from two other vacant positions, it is tough to do those things that are crying out to be done.
I am quite busy. I work 4, 10 hour days, I work for a healing foundation another day, I am an event coordinator and chairperson, I have classes for my spiritual needs, I have U of R classes, I am a Mom and wife. What I am missing is time spent with friends. Even though I consider the foundation and my classes fun, it is also work. I am missing physical time. Most of it is intellectual.

My nature is such that I am always there to help but I don't need many of the very intimate relationships (except for my husband and kids.) There are only so many hours in the day as it is. They are where I want to concentrate right now as they are the ones I am missing when I am so busy.

When school is done that will free up some more time. I do need to call up some friends I have known since childhood and hook up with them when I go back to the town I grew up in this holiday season. I am planning on meeting a cousin I haven't seen since I was about 13 and we are going to watch Air Force beat Army at West Point. I am going to meet up with a couple we haven't seen in ten years - since we left the military, so these things are coming. I can be patient.

I am fine on the power and recognition scale. There is always lots to do, valuable and appreciated feedback, I am doing good work.

I would like some me time. I tend to get that when the semester ends. Where I lack in our fine circle is the freedom section - although to be honest with you, I am okay with it because of the gains in the other areas right now. Soaking in a tub sounds like such luxury. Reading a book... taking a walk in nature is a treat, decorating for the holidays - all that is coming into season for me. I bought some daffodil bulbs today and will plant them for the spring time viewing.

It is all about the timing.

Balanced with some maintenance needed

In my Needs Circle, I find my three significant family members, one of my charities and spiritual practices, and something that gets my creative juices flowing (doing crafts and being a Team Mom):

Love

Michael

Calvin

Matthew

RAHEF

Crafts

Team Mom

Power

Michael

Calvin

Matthew

RAHEF

Crafts

Team Mom

Freedom

Michael

Matthew

Calvin

RAHEF

Crafts

Team Mom

Fun

Michael

Calvin

RAHEF

Crafts

Team Mom

Maintenance
Looking over my needs circle I see that I did not place my oldest son in the fun quadrant. I really took this to heart because I have been disappointed in our relationship over the last couple years. What bothered me was to know that if he is not meeting my need, then I am not meeting his. Knowing that, I see I have the power of changing the situation. There has been a strain in our relationship over the last few years. My first action is to connect with him and ask him, about what things he likes to do for fun and see if I am able to somehow join in, instigate or learn about those things he thinks are fun. As a kid we did fun things but now that he is twenty-four we can't seem to find things in common.

My youngest son has just reached the "stereotypical behaviors of a teenager” stage, so I believe he still meets and falls under the power quadrant but maintenance to keep the lines open are needed - especially in the respect opinion description are in order. My action is to start soliciting his opinions more and start offering my opinions less.

My husband and I are in a place lately where he and I rarely see each other to connect. Two ships passing in the night, connecting with each other by e-mail or phone to make sure the kids are okay, the bills are paid, there are groceries in the cabinet and the birthdays and holidays are covered. Sad....so sad. I think I need to spice up the fun quadrant with us a little bit. Specifically the make discoveries together piece. I brought this up with my husband tonight. It took him some time to think about it too, because he works two jobs, I work a job and go to school and we both are head honchos for two separate charities we belong to. He said he’d like to see the movie, “An American Carol.” So, I guess we can make that discovery together as my last action. The fact that he is helping me run a conference this weekend doesn't really count. Sometimes you've got to start small.

Chapter Three - Choose your behaviors.. I hope you dance!

This past spring I used my vacation days to take the Homeland Security Exercise and Evaluation Program (HSEEP) . I knew it would look good on my resume, and this was important to me because I was applying for a position at the Vermont Office of Emergency Management as a Planner. I also knew it would keep me more active in the field and was a way to earn extra money.

Four people were chosen for interviews, including me. The Director complimented me after the interview saying it was a very good interview. I knew of one other candidate and was more qualified than she. I heard one applicant dropped out of the running. I do not know anything about the fourth person.

After a few weeks I followed up and received a Dear Jane e-mail, and then the Dear Jane letter. This letter mentioned that the applicant chosen possessed "qualifications more suited to the position. " A former coworker and another person I worked with from time to time (that both work there, and who didn't even know I applied for the position until they saw me show up for the interview) told me the Director hired the female candidate with less experience, because she was the daughter of a friend.

Up until that point I presumed the Director possessed integrity and was looking for the best candidate for the position. From all the information provided to me since that point in time, I can no longer believe that to be true.

I was indeed disappointed. I was saddened and disheartened. I felt a bit betrayed. I was not getting my need for Power fulfilled, my Freedom was being squashed, my need for Love was not met and I certainly was not feeling like my need for Fun was fulfilled.

I did have three choices:
Make a bad situation worse (INEFFECTIVE),
do something to move me forward (BAND-AID),
or get what I need without overriding anyone else (EFFECTIVE).

What I was proud of was that I said to the person who told me the information, that it was best I knew this information about the Director now as I would have a very hard time working for a person that spoke with a "forked tongue."

In doing this, I gained my Freedom back because I knew I had a choice and what that choice would be, having to make the decision to apply over again. I also acknowledged my skill level as being superior to the person that was hired and felt as though someone, somewhere is going to notice my skills while recognizing this might not be the best timing.

I received Love from the two comrades who cared. We even experienced a little Fun finding other things to laugh about.

Now some of this was a band-aid approach because it helped for the moment and I felt better. It hasn't help me get a job in the emergency management field as yet, which is the ultimate goal. I feel good because I didn't go and spout off or go into a crying jag or say I am never going to apply for a job there again. I didn't start to spread rumors and nasty things about this Director. I figure, she'll have to live with that decision. I will have to assume that for her, the qualification of "daughter of a friend" suits the position and she felt like she was doing the right thing.

I am also a firm believer of the statement, "When one door closes another door opens."

My effective behaviors are right on target. I know each semester I am one step closer to attaining my degree as this seems to be the big thing holding me back from advancement. So, I continue on, taking the action of learning, studying, and applying the knowledge gained to my work.

I feel good.


Part II
The Barometer

I am a number 8.5- I am seldom physically ill and do meditate.
I would need to start a regular exercise program to make it to a 10.

In Pursuit of Happiness - Chapter Two Musings

What I have from me, that makes my life happier

I possess a variety of character traits that I use day in and day out that make my life happier.

This is a list of what I came up with:

I have ambition

I am motivated

I am analytical

I am calculating

I am calm

I am observant

I am capable

I am open-minded

I am charitable

I am optimistic

I am cheerful

I am passionate

I am compassionate

I am perceptive

I am competent

I am persistent

I am considerate

I am practical

I am cooperative

I am punctual

I am creative

I am quiet

I am curious

I am fun loving

I am decisive

I am rational

I am dedicated

I am rebellious

I am dependable

I am reliable

I am detail oriented

I am resourceful

I am determined

I am responsible

I am discreet

I am enthusiastic

I am sentimental

I am faithful

I am serious

I am firm

I am silly

I am flexible

I am sincere

I am forgiving

I have a good sense of humor

I am spiritual

I am straightforward

I am helpful

I am strong

I am honest

I am thoughtful

I am hopeful

I am tireless

I am hospitable

I am tolerant

I am imaginative

I am vulnerable

I am independent

I am visionary

I am innovative

I am inquisitive

I am insightful

I am kind

I am logical

I am loyal

I am merciful

What I have from others that makes my life happier:

I receive the benefit of the doubt

Friendships

Quarrels that test the truths for me

A listening ear

Shared meals

Understanding

I receive empathy

I enjoy time spent with me

From time to time I receive a helping hand

I also receive favors

A hug

A wink and a smile

Shared laughter

The opportunity to help others

Opportunities to share in other's joy

Surprise gifts

Singing songs together

Playing/watching sports together

A quiet night/day together where words are not necessary

Someone to play board games, go kayaking, or go boogie boarding with

I enjoy sanctuary with my family

I have music to listen to

Movies to watch

Television to watch

Books and Magazines to read

Marshmallows around the campfire

Teaching moments

A hug, a kiss , a sweet embrace

The wagging tail of a dog

The purr of a cat

The use of technology

Medicine when I need it

The joy of watching a storm or looking at the stars

Skills that I have been taught

Helpful appliances

Transportation

The Internet

Household furnishings

Utilities

Shelter

What I have done right. What that says about me.

I have done everything right. This says I am willing to see more than meets the eye. "I've done everything right," is a funny comment, don't you think? It might even be considered arrogant. For me, life isn't about right and wrong. It is about learning experiences and growth. It is about looking at life's lessons from a higher plane. This means even those things that I've done "wrong" in society's eyes, have made me into the person I am today. Today I am a better person than I was yesterday. In essence, the "wrong thing", once known and understood, gives me the opportunity to see if I need to change. Change (or growth) is the right thing for me.

What do I really want that I don't have now?

Up until the last day or two, I have held the fantasy of my dream house in my mind and in my heart. I have it designed in my head and drawn on paper. I hear the people inside laughing and having fun asking to come back when they leave. I have thought all along, if I had that house, my family would visit more often, I would invite more friends over, there would be fun and laughter, game playing, chats, shared movie time, meals, swimming and beautiful gardens. My children have scoffed at my house, and me thinking I could have it, when I brought it up. My husband said we could never afford it. He also said, "They (my family) don't visit us now, so what makes you think they would visit when you got this house?" I could/can see my fantasy home as if it were built and lit up. I wanted it so badly I could almost taste it.

Can I get any of these things fairly easily?

What I have come to realize is yes, I would like my own home that has the ability for me to entertain more than the home I now rent and that is in the location that brings peace to my heart. What I have realized I am really saying is, I want those things that having people in my home would bring to my life. I want that location to bring peace and sanctuary to my soul. My primary mission is Love in whatever form that takes. I want those interconnections; friendship, involvement and caring that make me feel included in this world. It would bring me Fun in the games and laughter, learning and sheer pleasure of sharing this with everyone. It would bring me Freedom because I would have the choice of the colors and decorations of what is inside my home. In a small way, it would also bring me Power. This one I had to think long and hard about. I think it would be power in the sense of recognition that in living a life the way I wish, I become a living example of walking my talk, and in doing so, I would have to receive some form of recognition. The form I would like it to take place is in my sons seeing they too own their own power and can have everything they want. It isn't something to be scoffed at. They would know that because their Mom did it, they can too. Is it easy? Probably not, but it is doable. I can have those feelings - house or not.

If the want seems difficult to get, can I change the form of the want to make it more attainable?

I have already mentioned that up until the last day or two I wanted this house. I wanted it because it represented to me the magic bullet that would give me Love, Power, Fun and Freedom. I realize, I have that now – without the fantasy house, and I can do it and have it -ANYWHERE.

Sit Rep through an e-mail group I am registered with.

Thought this might be of some interest as it is timely and in line with our sitrep assignment.
Kris
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela Devlen [mailto:Angela.Devlen@caritaschristi.org]
Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 2:00 PMTo: listserv@bcpwho.org
Subject: [listserv] FW: NEMRC Update - TX - Medical/special needs focus
For those that may be interested.
Angela

Emergency Management, Caritas Christi Healthcare
Director, BCPWHO
President, Mahila Partnership
736 Cambridge Street
Quinn 1
Boston, MA 02135
angela.devlen@caritaschristi.org
617.789.2424
www.linkedin.com/in/angeladevlen
www.bigmedicine.ca/angeladevlen.htm

From: Hal Newman [mailto:hnewman@tems.ca]
Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 1:57 PMTo: hnewman@tems.ca
Subject: NEMRC Update - TX - Medical/special needs focus
This is a NEMRC Update – TX – with a focus on medical/special needs.


The hospital in Galveston is being used by FEMA Disaster Medical Assessment Team (DMAT).

All Texas State Veterans Homes have resumed normal operations.

Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS): Statewide intake evacuation hotline is up and taking calls.

The Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) is coordinating status of hospitals in the impacted counties with the Texas Hospital Association (THA), including the FEMA mobile hospitals.

DSHS Repatriation Team continues to return Medical Special Needs (MSN) patients to their home counties or temporary medical facilities. Additional assets have been requested.

The DSHS Disaster Mortuary Team (DMORT) has deployed refrigerated trucks to affected counties upon request.
All ten FEMA supplied refrigerator trucks have been deployed to assist in body storage.
• Orange- arrived, 1 unit
• Beaumont- arrived, 2 units
• Crosby- arrived, 5 units. One unit may be deployed to Galveston
• Galveston- arrived, 2 units.

DSHS MACC continues to track all medical needs in impacted area and has deployed vaccines, trucks, equipment and supplies to impacted counties as requested.

Animal Bite Case Standard Operating Procedures and information on co sheltering and bus cleanup has been prepared by DSHS veterinarians. Texas federal assets total 921 personnel in 26 DMAT/Strike Teams (plus 3 DMORT) deployed statewide.

Resource requests: Dialysis

Requests for additional resources for End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) patients are being handled by DSHS at the Multi-agency Coordination Center.

Medical Special Needs shelters in El Paso, Amarillo, and Lubbock have been demobilized.

Requests for oxygen bottles/tanks are being processed as they come in to the ESF-8 desk. Other governmental agencies may be executing contracts for these resources as well.

TCEQ is working with water districts regarding boiled water notices and with DEAFLINK for issuances of boiled water notices for the hearing impaired. TCEQ is working with TAHC (Texas Animal Health Commission) on management of animal carcasses.

TCEQ Strike Team Investigated large bulk above ground storage tank that was observed to be smoldering by surveillance teams. Tank appeared to be venting possible hydrogen sulfide from a molten sulfur processing facility. Further investigation will be conducted to ensure tank is functioning properly.

The following cities are currently on a boil water notice due to Hurricane Ike: Sacul, Houston, Port Neches, Dickinson, Highlands, Raywood, and Groves

Public Utilities Commission (PUC): The PUC has been fielding calls with requests for when power will be restored in the affected counties. Currently, we have information on outages by counties and for Oncor and CenterPoint’s service areas by zip code. However, utilities are still assessing the damage, and we only have just started to receive some information on estimated restoration time. We hope to have more information tomorrow on estimated restoration time for affected counties. Utilities have been working hard and outage updates reflect that restoration is ongoing; however, currently we still have approximately 2.3 million customers without power.

American Red Cross (ARC): At this time the ARC is operating 145 shelters with a population of 19,995. There are 105 vehicles providing feeding, served 36,238 meals, 68,284 meals have been served to-date. There are 1,230 disaster workers providing these services.
2-1-1: September 14, 2008, the 2-1-1 system handled 14,435 calls. Since September 9, 2008, the 2-1-1 Texas system has handled 96,823 calls.

Three gulf coast Area Information Centers (AICs) remain closed due to storm damage. Callers from those impacted areas are being assisted by AICs across the state. AICs across the state are contributing 100% of total staff and volunteers to respond to information and referral calls related to Hurricane Ike. All have extended business hours as needed. AICs will continue to work throughout the weekend with extended hours.

The 2-1-1 Texas system continues to receive volunteer support from individuals and multiple entities. At 10:30 a.m. today, our call volume was 5,549. The top caller needs identified for Hurricane Ike are as follows: Re-entry Information; shelter; FEMA assistance; Special Medical assistance; financial assistance; hotel availability; Search and Rescue; food; gas money; ice; curfew; debris removal and evacuee location.

Deaflink: Deaf Link has added the capability of for all Deaf evacuees to be able to place Video Relay Interpreter (VRI) phone calls to friends and family through all our Shelter Link systems that are installed in the shelters and at the reception points.
Deaf Link continues to utilize the Accessible Hazard Alert System for all Warn2 weather alerts, PSAs for affected areas, sheltering areas and the state, such as, boil water notifications, travel restrictions, contact numbers to find family and weather updates. Deaf Link Volunteers are coordinated to assist with the San Antonio reception center and shelter.

Access to Galveston Island remains restricted to emergency responders only.

DDC 3B San Antonio: The ARCC is receiving post impact evacuees and implementing the re-entry plan for evacuees from non-affected areas. DDC San Antonio is preparing to receive 1500 General Population and 900 MSN evacuees from Galveston. The reception center has processed a total of 6837 General Population and 461 MSN evacuees from the post-landfall areas. DPS regions 3A and 3C have requested the repatriation of citizens from San Antonio shelters, 64 evacuees have returned to the City of Robstown.

MASS CARE: Shelter operations continue throughout central and eastern areas of Texas by the American Red Cross and local jurisdictions. There are 252 Shelters remaining open with a population of 38,764. The Salvation Army has 35 canteens with 1 kitchen. The Baptist Men and Southern Baptist Men are responding with 7 kitchens currently and are deploying 5 more. The Latter Day Saints are continuing to provide clean-up kits, hygiene kits, and food boxes.

SHELTER INFORMATION: Anyone requesting a shelter can phone 2-1-1 and the shelter information number, 214-653-7629, will be given to them. This number goes to the Dallas County Homeland Security Office which is maintaining the a-list of open shelters, space and rotation for receiving evacuees.




Be well. Practice big medicine.
Hal

Hal Newman
Executive Director, National Emergency Management Resource Center [NEMRC]
E: hnewman@tems.ca
W: www.nemrc.net

If you have contacts who you think would benefit from the NEMRC Updates/Alerts for Hurricane Ike, ask them to register on the NEMRC website www.nemrc.net

There is no charge for these updates although it is certain we are actively seeking corporate or organizational sponsors interested in building their respective brands while contributing to a valuable service for individuals and organizations involved in emergency preparedness and disaster relief.

Using Blogs for EM

Would this type of blog be of any assistance during an event like this?

From the cousin of my father in law:
The writer is an employee of the FBI in Glendale, CA.


Date: Saturday, September 13, 2008, 1:28 PM

Before I arrived at Westmont College (Santa Barbara) I heard the news on the radio--a Union Pacific freight train had collided with a Metrolink passenger train at rush hour in what was described as a "horrific" collision near Chatsworth. At the time, details were scarce and I thought of my friend, Bureau of Prisons Warden Michael Benov, who would have been commuting by train from Los Angeles to Moorpark at about that time. I hoped he was not on the train and thought to reach out to him. I spent a short time with my daughter at her dorm, handing off some 'knick-knacks" for her semester and briefly chatting. We hugged and said good-bye--I told her I would see her the following week at her Lolo's birthday party. I managed to find the dirt track at the bottom of the campus and with the light fading jogged a few laps in the cool damp air.

On the way home, I sought out the news and it had become worse. The mayor, Antonio Villaragosa, now forming a "Reunification Center" at Chatsworth High School, not far from the crash site, was asking for volunteers. I thought about Warden Benov. My ride home would have to wait as I continued in the darkness on the 101 until I reached the 126 (Route 126). Strangely enough, the night seemed to have become "inky black" until I realized that the dark night was actually black smoke emanating from a fiercely burning tanker truck across the median.

It must have just occured as there were no firefighters, no police and one or two vehciles pulled off the side of the road. I got off the next exit, crossed the bridge and merged westbound. Arriving simultaneously with a "black and white," I exited the car and Identified myself. The young officer laughed, "Bring any water?" In a more serious vein, he said that there were two firetrucks enroute....but there was no sign of the driver. The air was thick with grey-black smoke which was starting to choke us. Then what sounded like gun shots exploded from within the burning hulk. The officer urged me to go back to my car, that there might be ammunition in this truck. I didn't need any persuading. Soon the firetrucks arrived and within ten minutes the fiery ocean of flame was reduced to acrid smoke.

I exited the road on the shoulder and headed back on the 101 to the San Fernando Valley. It seemed like forever before I arrived at the DeSoto exit which I followed down to Devonshire. Black and whites, TV camera crews and eery artificial lights lit up the scene.
I parked the car on quiet residential side street and waded into the swirling confusion. "Badging" the perimeter officers, I asked for a sergeant and was directed to Sgt. Riggs, an attractive blue-eyed woman who challenged me on the spot.

"I just happened to be in the area....do you need any help?" Her response was all business, "As a matter of fact, I will need your help a little later. Can you work with some of these volunteers for now?' I looked out across a crowd of diverse groups--Red Cross, somber looking Metro Link officials, chaplains, health officials, city and county, anxious families waiting for words of loved ones, police officers...

The Asst. Manager at a nearby VONS had rallied his employees and so began an unending caravan of food and drinks to the Reunification Center. These people were incredible--they kept bringing everything they had. But it was not just them--other small store owners brought goods and, indivdually, people were turning up to provide any type of assistance--a pyschologist, a doctor, two teenage boys who begged to help (they were underaged and were turned down) I began serving pizza and coffee to the families, the officers, anybody that needed it. We were soon inundated by hundreds of bagged lunches (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches).

As I made the rounds, I talked to some of the families. Their concern, their worry and their fear was heart-breaking. Most of them asked for news which was scarce--there was a list of 79 people who had been treated at local hospitals. That left about 140 people still unaccounted for. We knew up to that point that there had been 10 fatalities. As the night dragged on, I got pulled in to the stories of the parents, the children and the friends. There was a quiet Vietnamese family huddling together. The mother wrapped in a blanket with a black Chihuaha poking his head out, was sobbing as the father explained that they were waiting for their 19 year old daughter, a student, who had taken this train. In broken English, the father said that they had received a phone call from her on the train at 4:20 pm; the collision had taken place three minutes later. An Indian man walked around in a daze, I pulled him over to the refreshment table and tried focusing him--he explained that his daughter's 20 year old boyfriend, Jacob, was on the train and they had received no word from him. A good natured fellow named Tim was waiting for news about his 46 year old brother--a bachelor who worked for the city. He confided in me that it didn't look good. He kept talking about his brother in the past tense--"he loved kids...he loved kids."

Sgt. Riggs finally caught up with me and assigned me to the Command Post where I began logging in visitors, volunteers and LAPD. Capt. Maureen Ryan swung by and asked for a Diet Coke. Oddly enough, there were crates of water, gatorade and coffee from Starbuck's but no soda. Somehow we managed to find her one...she would need it--the mayor, the fire chief and mayor's staff had arrived. In the meantime, Sgt. Riggs was staggered by bad news--the officer who had died in the collision, another policewoman named Shea, was her close friend. Riggs braved on as she wiped tears from her eyes and continued to conduct operations. But she did not last long and I last saw her seeking comfort on the shoulder of Lt. Moreno. I did not see her again that night and so ended up detailed to Sgt. Bixler, oddly enough a Westmont College alum.

During the night, Sheriff Baca approached me and a member of one of the families and offered his support. I deflected the comments to the family member. The mayor and the fire chief spoke. The mayor, clad in a firemen's bright yellow jacket, offered the little he could. Fire Chief Rueda spoke from his heart and was moved by what he was telling the families. When they exhausted the dearth of information, the tough questioning commenced. Most of the session was cordial but there was also some anger coupled with an emotional outburst or two. One woman awaiting news of her sister upbraided the officials for not having seat belts on the train. A teenage girl began a question to the mayor but was overwhelmed emotionally and could not finish...

The mayor laid it out--the families could wait in the "Center" for further news (there would be cots and food), but he recommended that they go home and rest and continue calling some of the hotline phone numbers. Aides scrambled from family to family to comfort, assure and take information. Then he was gone...as the Fire Chief walked past me, I told him,"Chief, you did a good job in there." He nodded and with his deputies returned to the crash site.

By one a.m., there were fewer people remaining, we were no longer logging people in to the CP, and so Sgt. Bixler relieved me of my post and transferred me to the West Valley group of young officers. I was approached by a handsome, young corporal who asked me if I attended Blessed Kateri Church and had twin daughters. He informed me that he, his wife and family go to the church and he had recognized me.

Cpl. Mike Ornelas of the West Valley Station would be my companion for the next hour or so....he told me that he couldn't wait to leave as there was little they could do for the families and it was hard to contain their emotions. We had run out of things to do. The Red Cross was now the busy component. I would wait for the Devonshire Station officers to relieve us at 2 am.

Finally, there was one young family with a precocious little girl clutching her stuffed bear. Her father worked what was left of our crowd desperately seeking any information about his sister-in-law. The wife, who was from Michoacan, Mexico, told me that she was happy when the mayor talked to her in Spanish. She was waiting to hear about the fate of her sister. She mentioned a few things about her sister but I can't remember--the details from this night, from all their stories seemed to merge together-- "a sister, a friend, a father, an uncle, a student.. they don't answer their cell phone,...the phone is dead...we only get a message when we call."

The green-eyed Mexican woman stared down at the floor and lost in her own thoughts said,
"My sister Magdalena was such a good person."
Ken

I got What I wanted....and I wasn't playing fish

I got what I wanted when…

1. A senior manger came to my work area and sat down in my spare chair. In the course of conversation, he confided in me that he and another even more senior manger, (recently retired) and he didn't see eye to eye and a couple more revealing pieces of information. (I knew I got what I wanted when I felt trusted by this person and realized that I had met my need for love and power.
2. I read on our central office shared e-mail account that senior staff appreciated the presentation and award ceremony that I arranged and presided over for a volunteer who had reached 1000 hours of service. (I felt a rush of relief and appreciation when I read the e-mail. I realized I received what I wanted as this met my need for power.)
3. A manager rode his bike to work. He forgot his lock so he brought the bike up into our office space. When he was at lunch, a couple of us found materials to transform his bike into something you would see in a parade – streamers and all. The bike owner and the rest of the staff thought it was so funny. This lifted our spirits all afternoon every time we caught eye of it. (The laughter and lightheartedness touched me inside and helped be know I met my need for fun and love.)

I did not get what I wanted when…

1. A Program Service Clerk sometimes forwards me jokes or pictures by office e-mail that she thinks I might enjoy. I opened an e-mail from this person and read a negative comment about an employee that works in a different division. (I knew it wasn't what I wanted when I felt deep annoyance and wanted to reprimand this clerk, but couldn't. I didn't meet my need for freedom, love, or fun)
2. A temporary supervisor was deeply annoyed with me when after denying me paid time off to take a state sponsored course, I asked for vacation time instead. She told me very publicly that I would never change and that I should start looking for another job. (I felt shock, ruffled pride, disbelief, and hurt. I now understand that my need for power, and freedom was affected.)
3. A new employee felt "less than" any time work was brought back to her when she made errors. She took these learning experiences personally instead of looking at the facts and, making notes and avoiding future errors. She didn't want to use my knowledge and skills to aid her in learning her new job. She continually questioned my methods and procedures by querying others outside our Division to try to catch me "wrong." I walked into rooms where she and other members of the Administrative Support Group were talking. I had worked with the others for many years, and on more than one occasion, they all stopped talking and looked guilty when I entered the room. I found out, she was systematically badmouthing me to others and ruining my reputation while trying to establish herself into the group. (I felt betrayed, left out, and misunderstood. I realized my need for love, power and fun with this group of people had been damaged.)

In Pursuit of Happiness, Knowing What you Want, Getting What You Need - Chapter One

by E. Perry Good

I absolutely love the Declaration of Independence. There is sacredness to it, a magic of sorts. When E. Perry Good quoted from the Declaration, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.", I knew I was going to enjoy reading further.

It made me immediately think about what I do that is so grand that time just slips by when I am doing it. It makes me remember why I am pursuing this Emergency Management Degree. I want to be in a paid position where I am in that Happiness zone for more and more of my day.

This book is clearly a thought provoker. I haven't yet read anyone else state our basic needs as Love, Power, Fun and Freedom. In many ways it makes sense.

MASLOW

I read Abraham Maslow's, Hierarchy of Needs many years ago and I have always kept that as a frame of reference in the back of my mind. I think it is because it disturbed me at a very basic level to think that very few people would ever reach self-actualization. (Reaching one's full potential as a person.)

I believe that Maslow's Esteem Needs and Social Needs, two of his categories are encapsulated in Good's Love, Power and Fun Needs. Maslow's Safety Needs and Physiological Needs don't seem to fit categorically within Goods.

POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE

I was listening to the Coast to Coast AM radio program with George Noory last night and Dr. Bruce Lipton was a guest on his show. In case you want to know more about Bruce, this is his website: http://www.brucelipton.com/. His latest book, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles talks about our genes and DNA and how they are controlled by signals from outside the cell, including "the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts." Science is backing up the thoughts illustrated in Good's book.

During the show, Dr. Lipton spoke about how our human culture has set up a system where competition rules the earth as opposed to cooperation as was intended. Good mentions this same thought at the bottom of page ten. Think about it. If we all cooperate, how much more could be done and how much happier would people be?

Good also states, "You can be your own worst enemy when it comes to limiting yourself."

Oh, this comment rings so true. I have many people say to me, "When do you get the time?" They also say, "I wish I had the time." As far as I know, there are twenty-four hours in the day for everyone. We choose what we want to do with them. We choose how we want to go through the day. We choose how we act and react. I choose, I find the time, I reach. (Then I take power naps)

POWER

I have a friend in need. This friend is also a Master Teacher in the field of energy work, so it feels to me like I am always on the taking end of things. I will have the opportunity to give something back that she could benefit from this coming week, and I feel so very powerful to be able to do it. This is not power as in I am in control of this person or this situation. Nor is it I am better than this person because they are needy and I am not. This is power as in I am able and fortunate to help at this time. Good says we need Power and I believe this. Power can be a great thing if put in proper perspective. Good states this in the Power section, page sixteen. Power is when "You have an impact on other people." This power feeds me and I know exactly what the author is implying.

SIGNALS

The section on Signals in this book reinforces many teachings I have read over the years. I have been following the teachings of Abraham through Jerry and Esther Hicks. One of the thoughts that I believe falls right in line with what Good is saying is this: "Most people think that they only have the option of responding to the circumstances that surround them. And that's what makes them attempt the impossible, which is to control the circumstances around them, which only feeds their feeling of frustration and vulnerability, because it doesn't take very much life experience to discover you can't control all of those circumstances. But you can control your vibration. And when you control your vibration, you've controlled everything that has anything to do with you. --- Abraham Excerpted from the workshop in El Paso, TX on Thursday, March 28, 2002

http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php

Abraham calls these "signals", vibrations. Good further states on page thirty-four that, "Your painful feelings are clues." In recent years, I have found this so fascinating. Look at the potential of this. Instead of people saying I feel lousy about x, y or z, they could instead say "thank you dear friend pain for alerting me to this potential trouble." Then they could take out the proverbial magnifying glass and look inside. The pain is a flag signaling us to take another look. The pain is saying. "Look here, pay attention, something needs to be changed!" I think we look at pain as the enemy instead of the friend that it is.

The section about Positive Signals got me to think about Winnie the Pooh's Eeyore.

Eeyore is a donkey who is pessimistic. We know people like him, don't we? Murphy's Law embodies Eeyore's thought pattern. He doesn't count his blessings, he imagines everything is going to go wrong – and by golly, it usually does, proving his point. If something does work out, well he sees it as a fluke.

"A belief is only a thought you keep thinking", and "That which is like is drawn unto itself" are two of the most basic and well known quotes from the work that Jerry and Esther Hicks have done with Abraham.

CHOICE

I believe we all have choices, and the choices we make bring about consequences. I think we can all learn something from this book, and step one is knowing there are other possibilities that we either haven't been exposed to, we haven't considered, or we need to rediscover.

Follow

John's blog invite just arrived. I noted he had a "follow" button. I hadn't seen that on anyone else's . I'll have to investigate that in case it helps me note when everyone has updated their blogs.

Our Week Two Assignment

I opened my e-mail this morning and I had an invite from Michael to view his blog.

My work computer wouldn't allow me to do so. Something about cookies, and not the dunk in your milk kind. By mid-afternoon I had two more requests from other classmates. I thought to myself, "It looks like at lunch time, I'd better get busy!"

After trying to remember what my University of Richmond account name was, I managed to set myself up with an account on the Google system. I had initially tried my personal account. Then I read our class notes and found out it would be best to start off with the University e-mail account. It is amazing how much time can be saved when one reads the instructions first.

It wasn't hard to do.

The instructions on the actual blogger site were easy enough to follow.

I've picked my initial template and now am finishing up my first posting.

I hope the rest of my classmates are finding this just as simple to follow.